September 22, 2010

Solo Class...and the Moon

Two posts in one day...I clearly have waaaay too much free time.
That won't last long!

I'm writing for two reasons tonight...

One: I played for solo class today, as did all the new NU students...three masters, one doctoral, and four freshmen. I had a horrible bout of the shakes and nervous brain, so to put it nicely, I didn't play up to my standard. More truthfully, I really sucked it up. I also sounded poor next to all the others that played. I do have to say...there are some FREAKING AMAZING players here--some real honest-to-god prodigies. That's awesome on one hand. I'll be surrounded by and playing with some inspiring musicians. On the other hand, it's going to be difficult to keep my own esteem in check. When I hear great players like I did today and then fall flat on my face in front of them it's difficult to believe anyone when they tell me that I deserve to be here. After the class was over everyone came up and said "great job!", but I think that's mostly just because everyone is really nice and that's just what people do in this class. Well, I guess that by starting at the bottom, there's nowhere for me to go but that a good way to look at it?

Two: the moon is BEAUTIFUL tonight! I went for a walk along the lake and it was slowly rising above the water.

All along the NU lake shore there are massive piles of rocks--many of which are painted with artwork, graduation memorials, marriage proposals, and general poetry. I liked the combination here of the smiley face with the moon...the GF proposal is cute too...if a little juvenile.

As it got darker, Jupiter began to emerge from the haze...what a sight!


  1. I can't believe you got your camera to take such a clear pic of Jupiter. Man! I am quickly realizing that my camera needs an upgrade.

    In catching up on your blogs, I realize what I have been missing these few weeks I have been "recovering". I wasn't there at your performance in class today, but I can tell you that I am not just being nice when I say that you are an amazing blogger Kelly!

  2. Oh, Kelly. My heart is full! Yes you do deserve to be there. You deserve to have those wonderful experiences and see those lovely things and there is always progress that can be made. DO listen to your heart when it tells you that you're amazing! Ignore the voices that try to persuade you to beat yourself up. I read both of your posts today and I'm so glad you shared the poem. I think your insight into the shadows on the stars is profound. Thanks for that! I love you!!!! I'll try to call you before your 6 a.m. cut-off in future : )