Cutting into Copper

Some of you may remember that one of the things I loved most about my time in Evanston was its proximity to the lake shore. I became all but obsessed with making it to the beach in time for sunrise every day and was rewarded by witnessing a panoply of the most stunning vistas imaginable. Coming from Salt Lake City--a valley edged in by mountains--I wasn't used to seeing the sun break above a flat horizon. From this vantage, sunlight travels through a substantial amount of atmosphere and is scattered into displays of brilliant color that often change from minute to minute...the deepest reds, purples, and yellows thickening one moment and then vanishing the next. 

Each morning brought new surprises... 

...especially as temperatures dropped and the water began to freeze. Though one of my biggest worries before moving to the Windy City was its legendarily harsh winter, the excitement of observing lake ice actually made me jump up and down whenever sub-zero temperatures were in the forecast...

Don't worry, there is a reason for my nostalgic indulgence.

About a month ago Rob and I were wandering through the Ginko Gallery, a local art shop and studio, and I was startled to see among a stack of random art supplies...a whole sheet of bright new COPPER! I hadn't found an opportunity to exercise my engraving muscles in quite some time, and visions of ornately scrolling designs instantly began sparking through my imagination. I asked the cashier whether this was something they regularly stocked, but apparently it was kind of a one off.

My lucky day!!!

We bought it right away. 

The 6 x 12 inch sheet, prepared and cut by Chicago based K&S Engineering, sat on my desk for a few weeks as I allowed ideas to bubble and churn. A concrete vision finally took shape for me this morning, and I spent some time today experimenting with materials in preparation for the real thing.

At the very least I first had to make sure I could still handle a graver. There is no eraser for engraving. Every line is as permanent as a tattoo. It would be so PERFECT if I started in on my masterpiece and instead just scratched the whole thing up. Fortunately, I still had an old battered piece of copper I'd picked up from a machine shop at NU...perfect for practicing! Then I gathered up my sharpies (yep, that's right...even on the copper), scrounged around for some old nail polish (I know...this is getting a little ridiculous...and by the way what am I doing with such a crazy shade of RED in my collection...I'll just let you wonder:), and finally started in.

My creative mood was helped along by a playlist of "drawing music" that included Dawn of Midi's new release "Dysnomia," and LaMonte Young's "Well Tuned Piano."  I'd only made it through the first two and a half hours of the second selection when my project was complete.

I haven't decided on a name for it yet, but the scene clearly references my morning trips to Lake Michigan's western shore. I'm planning on elaborating upon this idea in the future, and might decide on a title for the series then.

Here are some up close views. One thing I've always loved about engraving is how it shimmers with every change of light...

To help preserve the copper's ruddy sheen, I lacquered over the top of the whole thing with two coats of clear polish. I eventually hope to mount the piece, but at the moment its dimensions are 6 x 12 inches.

Red Moon at Night

Last night's conditions were perfect for observing a full moon rise above lake Michigan and I was pleased to see a fair number of people gathered along the lake shore to watch.

The event did not disappoint. The rusty hue you see in these photos is pretty close to reality. If anything the moon's ruddy complexion was actually more vivid.

The moon lost a bit of its rosiness as it continued to ascend, and with its brightening the little crowds of lakeside spectators gradually disbursed.

I looked to the west. Jupiter and Venus--who have in the previous weeks appeared so close together in the sky--were now widely spaced and sinking out of view behind some buildings. Mars glowed a rusty red high in the east, and as the sky darkened a few of the brightest stars began peeking through the dusk. I knew the Dearborn would be open that night, but it had been a long tiring week and despite the lovely sky I couldn't quite bring myself to head back to campus at 10:00 pm for an hour of viewing.

Sigh.

One of these days I'm going to get excited about "things" again. The last couple months, though gratifyingly productive, have left me feeling a little empty and uninspired. I'm just a little gray inside these days. And trying to remember how to dream again.

Spring Quarter

It's a blustery first day of spring quarter.

I missed sunrise...just barely...and it's a shame 'cause I could see the whole sky lit up with red and purple when I walked out of my apartment building. I'm sure the event was spectacular. I wish I had been there, but I'm also glad I slept in as late (5:53 am) as I did...

I've got one main goal this quarter:

DO A RECITAL SO I CAN GRADUATE!!!!!

Of course I have other classes I'll need to pass, I'm going to play as well as I can in orchestra, excerpt class (yup, looks like I made it in again), solo class, performance practice, and lessons, and I'm gonna try to make some spare change here and there (a gig or two and more science experiments), but if I don't pull off a recital, I'm kind of sunk.

I hope to broadcast it live again--I'll keep you posted.

PPC

One of the classes I'm taking this quarter is Performance Practice and Criticism. The name pretty much says it all. We all draw lots at the beginning of the quarter to determine our two performance times and then each week five members of the class present a piece, up to 10 minutes in length. During the performance the rest of us scribble comments and criticisms that are both turned in later for a grade and also given to the performer at the end of the class period for their reference.

Each week there is a different faculty member that presides over the masterclass and gives spoken feedback to the performer on the spot. We've had a flautist, a bassoonist, a percussionist, a conductor...(the list goes on) and finding ways to constructively criticize players proficient on an instrument other than your own can be a challenge for everyone. As a trumpet player it's tough to come up with useful things to say to a harpist or guitarist. Most of the time I think they just sound good! So the class has provided me great practice in getting my ears tuned in to details of approach and musicality that I might not have otherwise noticed. Conversely, it's always interesting to see what my peers hear in my playing. Advice that I get from the cellists in the class is often quite different from typical criticisms I get from other trumpeters.

Today I completed my second and final class performance and fortunately the video recorder worked this time.

This is Intrada by Otto Ketting...

Though it was certainly not perfect (gosh I wish I could take back the first note!), I feel pretty good about the performance. I think I dealt with the effects of my nerves reasonably well and though it hadn't been the best morning chop wise, I still made most things in the piece basically work. The feedback I got from John Henes--our resident Alexander Technique teacher and former professional trumpeter--was largely positive. He especially liked my entrance and bow--which was great because that's something I worked on with him in Alexander last quarter.

Just to give you an idea of the class, here are some snippets of what a few of my peers wrote to me on their comment sheets...

"Your dynamic contrast is superb. If anything, I'd be curious how soft you could get while keeping the gorgeous dark tone you have in your playing."

--a sax player

"Sometimes when you're holding a longer note to its finish, it's hard to tell if you're using vibrato because it gets a little uneven/airy sounding."

--a horn player

"A few of the grace notes (or quicker notes) sounded too flippant. I missed the effect of the short interruptions in the melody."

--a flute player

"I really love your feel for this piece. Your playing is extremely mature and I really appreciate how comfortable you are taking lots of time in between phrases."

--another flute player

"The way you arrived at the end of the middle section (immediately prior to the recap) sounded perfect for an ending. If you are going to do this, perhaps pausing a moment longer before continuing will create some tasty tension in the audience."

--a trombonist

"Cool ending"

--a euphonium player

"I liked the kind of schizophrenic nature that it had and yet you had such a peace that it all flowed really naturally. But I really liked your sound."

--anonymous

Dawn Mirage

I've just begun my day-long job as "door monitor" for the NOI auditions taking place today at NU. Can you believe it...I'm getting paid $12 per hour to sit in Regenstein's front lobby, let people in the front door, give them directions to the practice/audition rooms, and then let them into the practice room area. Oh...and I had to post signs around the building to label all these spots as well. So far a total of 6 people have arrived and that includes the actual auditioner and one parent. About 30 people are expected to audition between now and 4:00 pm and as I await their arrivals I've got this post to write, a book to read, a CV to tweak, and maybe some music or podcasts to listen to if I start to get really bored.

In order to be able to get all my practicing in today, I arrived at Regenstein a few minutes before it opened at 7:00, and as an added bonus I got to watch the sun come up...something I haven't really done in a while.

The coolest thing I noticed this morning was a striking mirage that stretched between the water and a layer of clouds way off over the distant horizon.

...woo hoo! auditioners # 7 and 8 just arrived. I'm workin' hard I tell ya!

ANYWAY...

Here are the pictures I took...

And a non-zoomed-in shot of the whole scene...

More good news. I landed a couple more jobs for this week and next.

Brace yourselves...

I'm going to babysit for one of the doctoral trumpet students and his wife so they can treat themselves to a romantic Valentine's Day dinner, and then again for another date the following week. I realized after I agreed to help them out that I don't know how old their daughter is. From a previous get-to-know-you chit-chatting session think I remember him saying she was 2...or maybe 3...hmm...I guess I'll have to ask him later.

When I was a teenager I tried my hand at babysitting in the neighborhood. I was terrible at it. I was so shy at the time that I was usually even scared of the kids I was watching, and if someone's baby started crying and I couldn't get him/her to stop, I usually became so flummoxed that I'd start to cry too. I'm still not all that great with kids--especially babies. I have a terrible time figuring out what to do with them and I'm still pretty intimidated by their smallness and fragility.

My trumpet friend said they'd put their daughter to bed before I arrive and that all I'd have to do was be around to monitor things and make sure everything stays safe and sound. Though I'm a little nervous and already trying to plan my how-to-be-good-with-a-child strategy, the promise of earning a little extra money is keeping me in the "I can do this" mindset.

I can do this...whew...

UFF DA

We had a NASTY blizzard last night. Not much snow--maybe a half an inch or so--but the wind!!! UFF DA!!!!!

This morning a departing bank of clouds took center stage above the lake...

It's funny that I still label these occasional morning pictures "daily sunrise." They seem to get more occasional as the days go by. This has been true lately for a couple of reasons. First, as we've had an unusually mild winter this year, the lake hasn't been quite as bizarrely picturesque as it was last year. Without massive ice flows and stretches of sub-zero temperatures that unpredictably change the lake's surface from a frozen tundra to a gigantic mirror within the space of a day or two, I've been a little less inclined to lose sleep in order to make the sunrise.

Second, I've been insanely busy these days finding ways to both hold on to the few pennies I still possess (though I already live so frugally it's difficult to find anything else to cut), and seek out ways to earn more of them. I've been in panic mode because unless I find a regular source of income--even a small one--I'm going to go broke before the end of the school year. In addition to taking part in as many research studies as I possibly can ($6 here and $6 there helps a little) I've submitted countless applications for every entry-level no-brainer job I can think of, still without any luck. The main problem as far as I can tell is that everyone is looking for someone who is outgoing, gregarious, sociable, and "fun", and as I complete the personality-assessment portions of job applications I can't claim to possess those traits and still honestly answer the question that inevitably comes up later on the page, "Do you sometimes lie to make yourself look better?"

About a week ago I heard about a new book just out that looks like it addresses my predicament head on. Quiet by Susan Cain explores the difficulties that natural introverts, like myself, encounter both when applying for jobs and then later as they try to survive within today's typical work environments. Here's an excerpt from an NPR interview about the book that spoke so well to my past and current experiences that it gave me goosebumps:

"We moved from what cultural historians call a culture of character to a culture of personality. During the culture of character, what was important was the good deeds that you performed when nobody was looking...But at the turn of the century, when we moved into this culture of personality, suddenly what was admired was to be magnetic and charismatic."

Here's a link to an excerpt from the book if you are further interested.

Though I haven't read more than the excerpt above, I gather that her argument is not that extroversion is bad and introversion is good, but rather that our current culture is unhealthily imbalanced to favor those who work well in open sociable environments, while those who operate more effectively in calmer spaces and perform well as individuals are shut out or struggle as they are forced to conform to an ideal that grates on their nature. I'm interested in reading more. Hopefully the book will come to my local library soon!

Anyway, though I've been thus far discouraged in my search, I've made it a point to do at least one thing per day that will either get me some cash in the short term or further my prospects for making money in the future. I finally put my name into the NU "gig referral service," I apply for every local part-time job I might qualify for as soon as I hear about it, I have an appointment with the NU career office on Monday to have my resumés evaluated and go through a list of questions I've typed up about how I can set myself up for a measure of success in the days, months, and years to come, I contacted a faculty member from the NU art department who gave me a list of places I can go to see about exhibiting and/or selling some of my art, I'm becoming a research-subject-pro and have signed up to be a "healthy control" for a number of upcoming medical studies--though when or if they'll call me is iffy (and no mom, these do not involve me taking any medication...I would never put my body through that kind of madness), I'VE GOT A JOB TOMORROW making $12 per hour for 7 hours helping out with an audition that's taking place on campus, there's one really great (but temporary) job I hope to apply for that's been getting ALL my extra energy at the moment (more on that later if my application comes together well), and I obsessively check Musical Chairs for any new audition listings from around the globe that are advertised there.

Fortunately I DO have an Easter gig (yay!), I DO have one final loan disbursement that I'll get at the beginning of next quarter (whew!), and I DO have a summer job lined up (I'll be a music librarian at the good ol' IMC again!), so all is not lost...there are a few short-term helps on the way.

So anyway, I hope you can forgive my having disappeared from the radar lately. I'm doing my best.

Melting

The effects of a warm day on the iced-over Northwestern campus pond...

Two Good Endings

Over the last couple of days two good things have come to a satisfying conclusion.

On Saturday and Sunday the Northwestern University Symphony Orchestra performed Mahler's 3rd Symphony. Our Saturday evening concert ranks as one of my top musical experiences in recent memory--right up there with Mahler 2 in Carnegie Hall, the Arutunian Concerto at Aspen, and Peter Cetera in Abravanel Hall (ok, so that last one is a bit of an oddball, but I was playing in a section led by Tony Dilorenzo--one of my trumpet heroes--and the audience cheered so loud that I felt like a rockstar all the way down on 3rd trumpet!).

Anyway, Mahler 3 was a riot! I felt like I played as well as I ever had in rehearsal, our brass section as a whole was rockin', and there were several moments where I was so overcome by the energy and excitement of the piece that I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear right there on stage. It was really a lot of fun.

Second, I finally finished the drawing I'll be submitting to the music school art competition! (My hands are rejoicing!) Just for fun, I took pictures throughout the process (some of which I've already shared with you here) so you could get an idea of how I approached the piece.

So here it is from start to finish...

I'll admit...I'm kinda proud of the final product. No, it is not a self portrait--I'm quite aware of the fact that I'm not nearly as lovely as the female trumpeter I drew--but maybe it's my ideal self in a way...I dunno.

Anyway, whether or not I get picked for the postcard, I'm glad to have been given a reason to indulge my creative side.